Tiny Post It

 If any of you know Joe, then you will know that he is not normally the romantic type. He's pretty cut and dry when it comes to date nights or things of that nature. Over the years he really has tried to step it up, but usually it doesn't last very long. Luckily I'm okay with this. I don't really need a lot to make me happy. Well..... I like to tell myself that anyway. Joe probably has different thoughts on that subject.

So a couple of weeks ago he started doing something incredibly sweet. Each morning before he left for work he would take a few minutes to leave me a note on our mirror. It would be something sweet about me, then followed by a bible verse that goes along the same subject. For example one of the notes read  "You are strong, beautiful, and capable. I believe in you. Psalms 28:8." Super sweet, right? I loved it! It was exactly what I needed to start my morning off, and a great reminder throughout the day if things started to get crazy. It wasn't until I took a picture of them did I really grasp the importance of these tiny, two minute notes.

I was standing in the bathroom, holding Linc (plus everything else) when I decided to snap a picture before leaving. When I looked back at the picture I had a weird moment. It was like I was seeing myself in a completely different way. If you'll notice, the Post It was placed exactly in the middle of my reflection. I haven't asked him about it yet, because I don't want to ruin my interpretation, so I'm not sure if this was intentional or not. Intentional or not, it was perfect.

Normally, if I passed by a mirror looking like this I would not feel capable or beautiful. I would feel like a hot mess. I would also start noticing things like, my hair needs washed, I need more makeup on, the ice cream I ate last night already added ten pounds that went right to my stomach. Things like that, just to name a few. I could come up with more examples without even trying! That's what we do though. We constantly nitpick our entire bodies. We compare it to other women and also compare it to our previous self, or at least I do. (If you haven't had a baby yet ,then let me fill you in on a secret, your body will never be the same.) This kind of treatment is terrible and it has to stop. Who else would we allow to stay in our lives if they spoke to us like we speak to ourselves? I never want my sons to hear me talking bad about myself. Why, you ask? What's the big deal? Because they will do the exact same thing. Let that sink in for a few seconds. How would you feel if your son or daughter looked in the mirror and called themselves fat, or ugly, or thought their nose was too big? It would absolutely break my heart. What I'm teaching my boys is all wrong. I don't want to teach them that it matters what they look like far more than how they act. I would be teaching them that when they go to find a wife, they should care more about her face rather than what's in her heart. Those are not the values I want to instill in my sons. The change has to come from me. I can't just tell them, I have to show them. I have to be the example that I want them to follow.

Looking in the mirror with that Post It sticking there is like a slap in the face. I should have as much love and grace for myself as I do for other people. I should not constantly point out all my flaws because that is what others will begin to see in me as well. I should be happy because I am a young and healthy woman. I am blessed to have these stretch marks across my stomach because those marks earned me two beautiful baby boys who I wouldn't give up for the entire world.

So now, I will make a choice. I will no longer speak harmful words into my life. There are far too many people in this world who speak harm already. I don't want my boys looking back on their childhood and remembering me calling myself names. I don't want my husband constantly hearing me degrade myself. How romantic is that? Let me just tell you, it's not. My husband once told me the most attractive thing I can do is to be confident. So that's what I will do.

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

1 Peter 3:3-4