Take Captive Every Thought

Oh how different our lives might be if we could learn to take captive every thought we have. This may be my biggest struggle in life. I allow my mind to run away. It's not always bad. I sometimes have very in depth conversations with myself (kind of scary). Most of the time though, I allow myself to dwell on things that are out of my control.

For example, I have a big problem letting other people watch my children. I make up these scenarios in my head of Lincoln getting a hold of a knife, or Westyn running off into the wilderness. Those are just some of the mild scenes that play out inside my brain. Example two, when Joe suggests that we should go on a cruise. My mind immediately goes to the hundreds of sharks that will be constantly circling our ship just waiting for one of us to fall into the water (I realize I might sound a bit crazy, but I'm just being real). I allow fear and anxiety to overrun my life and I'm robbing my family of fun and adventures because I can't control the thoughts that bombard my mind.

I'm sure you've all at least heard of the movie Eat Pray Love. Well if you didn't know, it's based on a true story of when Elizabeth Gilbert decided to leave everything and travel for a year. I don't agree with some of her life choices but I do love this book. One of my favorite quotes from it is "I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore". I can't even count the amount of times I have repeated this to myself.

I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore
I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore

Over and over again, when I felt so weak and these awful thoughts where overtaking me. This quote stuck out to me at a more serious time in my life when my marriage was tested far more than I ever thought possible. I had never dealt with so much fear and anxiety before and now, all of a sudden, it was crippling me. I lived like this for probably a year until one day, I stood looking at myself in the mirror and said enough. I actually said it out loud. It wasn't enough to say it inside my head, it needed to be spoken. No longer will I allow these thoughts to ruin my life and make me afraid of things that haven't even happened.

Peace. How glorious of a word. People all around the world are looking for peace, but unless they are looking at Jesus they will never find it. The previous verse says to not be anxious about anything but in every situation to pray. Our hearts and our minds are so vulnerable that we're unable to control them on our own. We have to look to Jesus in order to find peace.

So my goal is to take captive every unhealthy thought. To now allow them to harbor up in my mind creating a barrier between me and happiness. I want to be happy and to have the peace of God guarding my mind.