Whatever Is Lovely

Do you ever have those days? The days where you feel like you've completely failed as a wife and as a mother. The days where you go to bed praying to God that they don't remember that day when they're older. The days where you've snapped so many times at the people you love most that you simply can't bare to think about how awful you are any longer. The days where you feel so burnt out and used up. The days where you're counting down the minutes until your husband gets home, only to receive a text saying he's running late. Well today was one of those days. When a day ends like this and I'm lying in bed wide awake praying, I can't help but think, why? Why do I act this way towards the tiny humans who I would gladly give my life for, and towards a husband who has done nothing wrong expect get home from work at exactly the wrong moment? Why do I let a four year old get so far under my skin that I can't shake these feelings off? That's when it ...

When you become a parent no one tells you about the constant struggles you deal with or the many, many decisions that have to be made. It seems like every day one of the boys are hitting a new milestone in life which comes with its own set of struggles and decisions. It was doable when we just had Westyn, but now we have two different kids going in two different directions. Literally. Outside playing today Lincoln was running towards the road while Westyn was going towards the woods. All of a sudden I had a choice to make. Which kid to physically stop and which kid to ask to stop. Luckily, this decision was easy. Obviously, I ran and grabbed Lincoln before he could get smashed by a car and I yelled at Westyn to wait. This got me thinking though. As a parent there is going to come a time when we have to move beyond being able to physically stop our children when they're making poor decisions, and move more towards having a conversation with them. I feel like with Westyn, my four y...

Oh how different our lives might be if we could learn to take captive every thought we have. This may be my biggest struggle in life. I allow my mind to run away. It's not always bad. I sometimes have very in depth conversations with myself (kind of scary). Most of the time though, I allow myself to dwell on things that are out of my control. For example, I have a big problem letting other people watch my children. I make up these scenarios in my head of Lincoln getting a hold of a knife, or Westyn running off into the wilderness. Those are just some of the mild scenes that play out inside my brain. Example two, when Joe suggests that we should go on a cruise. My mind immediately goes to the hundreds of sharks that will be constantly circling our ship just waiting for one of us to fall into the water (I realize I might sound a bit crazy, but I'm just being real). I allow fear and anxiety to overrun my life and I'm robbing my family...

Please tell me someone gets the title reference. So, people often ask me how I stay so fit. Okay, so maybe no one asks me this, but I have had friends and family witness a change in me over the past couple years. I was recently asked by one of these said friends to write about my health journey. This is going to be a bit difficult because I don't really view myself as someone who should  be giving advice on health and fitness. However, through some encouragement from some wonderful people, I'm going to give it a shot.  Now, I do not claim to be a fitness professional (insert laughter) and I also do not claim to be a nutritionist(more laughter because of all the cookies I might have eaten this weekend). I have, however, gained a considerable amount of weight and then finally lost it all. I guess this journey really started during my pregnancy with my, almost four year old son, Westyn. I did what a typical woman does while she's pregnant and I ate everything. I took the w...

 If any of you know Joe, then you will know that he is not normally the romantic type. He's pretty cut and dry when it comes to date nights or things of that nature. Over the years he really has tried to step it up, but usually it doesn't last very long. Luckily I'm okay with this. I don't really need a lot to make me happy. Well..... I like to tell myself that anyway. Joe probably has different thoughts on that subject. So a couple of weeks ago he started doing something incredibly sweet. Each morning before he left for work he would take a few minutes to leave me a note on our mirror. It would be something sweet about me, then followed by a bible verse that goes along the same subject. For example one of the notes read  "You are strong, beautiful, and capable. I believe in you. Psalms 28:8." Super sweet, right? I loved it! It was exactly what I needed to start my morning off, and a great reminder throughout the day if things started to get crazy. It wasn...

Moms Night Out is an incredible movie! Seriously though, if you are a mom please go watch the movie. If your husband doesn't really like movies like this just play the football card and make him sit with you and watch it. This will give him a little insight into our minds as mothers, and also it's pretty funny! I do have to say that the one thing I was slightly disappointed in is the way they depicted some of the dads. They were shown as very incompetent and that's not fair. Other than that detail I believe there so are many lessons to be learned in this movie. The realness of the emotion shown is amazing! At one part the main character says something like "she chose to be a wife and a mother, it's all she has ever wanted, so why is she not happy?". I'm pretty sure I have said those exact words. I chose to stop working and stay at home with my boys, so why does it feel so difficult most days. Why do I not experience all the joy and happiness I thought ...

Step one in my goal to be more intentional this year is to start with the most important subject; my faith. I, just like almost all Christians, struggle with keeping my faith strong in all things. I've really related recently to one of the stories in the gospel of Mark where the man brings his son to Jesus because he is possessed by a demon.  The father asks Jesus  "But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." "If you can?" said Jesus "Everything is possible for one who believes." "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:22-24 Wow. Am I the only one who sometimes feels just like this father? It's so easy to trust God with all the small things in our lives, but do we really actually trust him with the large things? Like why did we have to move to South Carolina? Just throwing that one out there, not like anyone actually feels that way (cough cough). It takes an intentional thought process to let go and let...